Our Test

Well a friend of mine was broken up with friday night and so on saturday she really needed me to be there. So on Saturday Macie and I packed up and headed out to her house. I took this as an oppertunity to see how she would do with her schedule when out of the house most of the day.

And she didn't do too bad the hard part was we didn't have a place for her to take a nap. Had I brought her pack and play, I think we would have been much better off. but with all things considered I think it was an over all success and I wouldn't be afraid to be gone out of the house all day. Except that I don't trust people and when we're out we have a lot of people that like to get in her face and say how cute she is and I don't want her to get sick so we will probably still spend a lot of our day at home and only around people we know, like, and trust that if they're sick will just stay away.

over all

Over all I think we did and are doing pretty well. It definately changed our lives. The amount of stress I feel related directly to the lack of a schedule is minimal. Of course there are the daily bumps in the road and other things that I stress but knowing that when 1000 comes and she's starting to get cranky she's tired and at noon she's hungry. It has made my life a bit easier and has allowed me to be able to get a schedule myself I know the times that she is sleeping I can do homework or clean the house and when she's playing I can make phone calls, lunch and I don't have to worry that I'm not going to have enough time to get everthing done that I need to.

I am curious to see how the rest of this week and the rest of our lives are going to change. I am going to embrace change instead of letting it stress me out. Change in inevitable so we may as well roll with it.

Day Light Savings

This must be a cruel joke. Really, does God hate me this much that we have to have daylight savings. We were just getting used to our schedule and now its all kinds of messed up. Yesterday she woke up at the new time of 0630. and her naps were so off and eating was off even from the old times. It seems like every time I get on track something throws us off. Is this ever going to just work? It feels like I'm just stuck dealing... Dealing with what life throws at me. Dealing with my life falling apart. Just dealing... Instead of stopping it before it hits me.

I'm hoping that by the end of this week she is waking up at the new time of 0800 instead of the old 0800, and that everything settle's down and gets back to normal. Her naps suck right now. she's not sleeping through the night anymore. And all of this adds to my already enormous amout of stress.

keegan

So the last time keegan took Macie, I asked him when he thought he would take her again. He said that next weekend, I told him he wasn't going to take her two weeks in a row, my grandparents were going to be in town and were leaving for Texas for six months so they needed to see her. So again I asked when he would take her again, he told me this weekend. So i told him fine call me later and let me know for sure. So I have been expecting a phone call this week and when wed. came I told my lawyer that I am not going to live on 24 hours notice and if I hadn't heard from him by wed. night she wouldn't be going with him, never called... not once to tell me one way or the other. its been two weeks now since he's contacted me. How can you say you have a daughter and not call to see how she is. I really don't understand. I wish I could understand what runs through his freaking head!!